I am currently reading a book a friend of mine gifted me with for my birthday and it couldn’t have been more appropriate.
The book is called How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie. The book was originaly penned in 1936 after decades of work and research about how businesses achieve lasting, impactful results.
The answer: Human relations!
Were you expecting anything else?
The thesis of this extensive study, which today has been revised to include more timely relevance, is that “as sorely as these adults needed training in effective speaking, they needed still more training in the fine art of getting along with people“ (Carnegie, Dale, Vermillion, 1936).
And even though nearly a whole century has elapsed since the first time the book was published, the premise that if you get along with people your life will be more fulfilled, satisfactory and impactful, is still – probably even more so – relevant today.
Why do I say this?
Well in a world that is dominated by technology and pelleted by global pandemics that have restrained our basic need to interact socially and physically, being able to ‘get along’ has taken on a much more significant role today then possibly it was in 1936.
I will not critique the tome, but rather, highlight the essence here; If we want to get along with people, we need to be interested in them.
I know, it is as easy yet as difficult as that. Why? Because we are also interested in ‘ourselves’, and it is very difficlut to put our own needs, wants, desires aside to be interested in others first.
So this requires effort. Effort to understand two things:
- What is important to me?
- What is it that I control in order to achieve that?
If the reconciliation of these thoughts is ‘getting along with people’, because let’s face it, we cannot not afford to get along with people as everything we do is about dealing with people, and all are more different than the previous. So why not put the effort in it?
I would like to point out at this juncture that at nowhere have I mentioned the word ‘time’. This I have done purposefully, as, in the same words of Dale Carnegie “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you” (Ibid., pg. 58).
It is the amount of effort you put into things that will determine your result, not time.
This may sound irriconcilable when we all live hectic lifestyles that are constantly requiring more of our … time; work deadlines, family obligations, bills, etc. But I ask you to reflect on this: is time the currency you are waging or your own effort and energy?
It took me a good while to digest this, and at times, I admit, I tend to lose my way along this seemingly unidrectional pathway, but I confess I am more tranquil, more certain and more convinced by what I do than before, when my focus was on the ticking timer or clock on my wall. I recently spoke with one of our partners who reflected on one of our sessions. During this session I was told that since their focus is on effort, they are less anxious, are accomplishing more and seem to have more time at their disposition.
I can associate the success of the process with my direct interest in our partners’ needs. It is not only a fundamental principle of coaching, but every day human relations, whether in our private, social or professional lives.
John D. Rockefeeler once famously stated that “the ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee, and I will pay more for that ability than for any other under the sun” (in Ibid pg. xvii).
If we want to leave impact in the lives of others, and in the same time increase your business’ value, get interested, or call us!
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